Doctor Kitty

All the Jareds I know are annoying. Ha, putting that aside: I enjoyed this piece. I really need to read stuff on YWS more. I'm missing out. I clicked on ...

bubblewrapped said the main things. I'd like to say that this poem does nothing to go beyond the ordinary. In fact, the only thing that makes it a poem is ...

Good technical use of grammar and punctuation; I spot no major structural flaws save for some missing commas. However, the story is a laundry list. "I did this. Then he ...

I liked the last line. :D Simple and direct. Music does have a way of capturing the soul, doesn't it? :D

I would suggest maybe trying different rhyme schemes with it. Maybe ABAB or some such. You might like some variations. This forum isn't for amazing literature, it's for improvement. So ...

Mourning actually does change things, sometimes. :P I'd add a third, and maybe a fourth stanza. Both your stanzas repeat the same concept just with different words. Maybe a third ...

I agree with gadi. The repetition makes it feel more like a song. Also, the "waking up" metaphor has been used so many times. It's a good image, but it ...

I liked this. Strong message, excellent descriptions. A friend and I just broke up after going out for about a month and a half. It hurts, it does. We'll never ...

Very intense and descriptive. She couldn’t bear it anymore, it had to stop, she had to get out. There was only one way she could think of, she didn’t want ...

As you probably know, for some reason or another, I rarely critique. With that being said, I'd like to say, this grabbed me. And it grabbed me very hard. I ...

Sweet! I'm in this one! And I have a machine gun! And I didn't die! Very nice. I've always liked your action stories. You describe things very well. (Action scenes ...

Ok. First of all, remember that having stories in one big huge block paragraph is bad. Every time a new person speaks, indent. Teri paced around the room wondering about ...

Does a fable have to be written in any specific way, like a poem? : a fictitious narrative or statement: as a : a legendary story of supernatural happenings b ...

Snoink's already got here. (Darn you, Snoink! :D) She must have had something earlier when I wasn’t looking. I doubted it though. A little awkward. Almost contradictory. A lot of ...

Mister Waffles: Actually, the ode to squirrels thingy was inspired by Nate's title on the main page of this website. So... it's Nate's quote! Just my poem. Alrighty. I corrected ...